The Japanese word for foreign people or “outsiders”.

Tokyo is a place of fantasy and mystery; an amalgamation of the old and ancient traditions crashing with the new wave of western impact, like a wave crashes on the beach. It is a constantly mesmerising experience to explore the streets of such a city. You cannot come to Tokyo expecting something that resembles London or New York. It is like every city put together at once, but then also nothing like anything else in the world. A happy confusion of the worlds must wonderful and exciting assets all in one place for you to enjoy and find comfort in, but one that can also take you completely out of your comfort zone. Tokyo is a blinding explosion of every contradiction possible, and to live in such a place is an everyday adventure.

When I first moved to Tokyo, I thought I knew what to expect. I had already studied for an exchange semester at a University here, and battled my way through learning the basics of the complex language and cultural expectations. I thought I knew what I was stepping into. Was I completely wrong in my expectations? Absolutely. Living in Tokyo is at the other end of the spectrum to living in the UK, or even simply travelling to Japan for studying or a holiday. Visiting Japan is a great experience, and one that I firmly believe everybody should enjoy, but as a visitor you are encased in a protective bubble. It is a bubble that only allows you to see it with rose-tinted eyes. Once I stepped off the plane as an English teacher with a valid visa, that bubble was ultimately popped. Finally I saw Tokyo through the eyes of a Japanese national, as I could now live life as one, and see both the beauty and the beast of the city. No longer was there that rose-tinted view of Japan. It was the REAL, exposed view, and I myself at first felt rather exposed. I had spent 21 years in home comforts surrounded by a culture that I knew inside and out, with people that spoke the same language, knew me, understood me and cared for me. I was freshly out of University, could speak minimal Japanese, and had never spent longer than four months away from a member of my family… WHAT WAS I THINKING??? I found myself wrapped up in a culture that was a constant learning curve, and one that if you put a foot wrong, is pretty easy to offend someone. I had started my first job and was living in my own apartment. I was launched into adulthood-on-steroids and felt as though everything I was doing was wrong. I didn’t fit in, and the worst of all… I was stress eating…so didn’t even fit in to my own clothes! I had never previously suffered with anxiety or lacking self confidence, but at this moment it was hitting the Earth’s core. For anyone reading this that has recently moved to a new country or gone through a drastic change in their life, all of these feelings are perfectly normal, and would be strange if you did not experience such things. BUT… as everyone knows, time is the greatest healer.

With my British stiff-upper-lip, and shocking fear of failure and competitiveness, I put all of my energy into acquiring every part of Japanese culture and language; noticing every small bow or way of apology. I strived to excel in my work, eventually becoming respected and well-liked by both students, parents and colleagues. After that, everything just kind of fell into place. Out of the tumble-dryer of emotions and clouded confusion came perfect clarity. Everything around me, from nature to people, became even more beautiful and astounding. This was my home, and what a wonderful place to call home. But one thing that still effects me now, that I have recently learned to embrace proudly, is that despite this being my home and a person who devotes their days to teaching the future Japanese generations, I am and always will be “Gaijin”.